A Long Journey

Two months have gone by since Christmas but I feel like it was just here…and I must say I feel renewed, artistically.

December marked a turning point when I finished a long overdue project. I finished a quilt for my mom.

I’m sure my mom thought she would never get that quilt after the first year of waiting 😂 but I was working on it or I was working on working on it. The problem was that I didn’t love or like any ideas I had. I wasn’t inspired by any patterns and I couldn’t come up with any. I had creator’s block for a very long time. I started the quilt a bunch of times. I bought materials and got half-way through the project and was really disappointed by what I was doing and ripped it apart again. Maybe I can use the materials in something else, I thought. I tried to start other projects but couldn’t. I wrote this poem about it but I did not share it at the time.

Cold Case
I am knitting but just because. 
I love it but I'm not loving it right now.
I have to make something of it right now. 
I hear myself utter a bitter little chuckle as I continue on 
without bothering to untangle the mess of string I'm working with now.

I feel like I'm working on a case that I will never solve but I plug on anyway, 
dedicating some time to go through the motions, reviewing the same details with my needles and maybe 
just maybe some miracle stone with turn over and I'll suddenly discover some new inspiration maybe
just maybe.

Until then, this will have to be my habit: I'm going to work on this thing each day but I won't.
I will work until its over and done but I already know I won't. 
The next time I glimpse some string in my closet and begin to smile, I won't.
It is better to resist pulling that thread. 

In other words, this was a disaster.

I continued on like that for many months when by chance, I stumbled across a pattern on Craftsy.com site, (called Bluprint at the time) and I instantly fell in love with a quilt pattern and I ordered the materials right away. Before the materials arrived I was angry with myself for making the purchase. I knew it wouldn’t be any different than all the other times. When the pattern and materials arrived it was difficult to start it. I mean the picture of the finished quilt looked great but it was missing something. There was no spark for me, again.

I gave up. My mom was never getting that quilt. Heck, she knew that by now, I thought.

The same day I gave up I organized my craft supplies. There was no point for things to be messy if I wasn’t actively working on anything. There was a spark. I found it when I looked through my stash of materials and paused on a keepsake box of things that belonged to my grandmother. One of her favorite sundresses caught my eye and I immediately new what to do. I would incorporate my grandmother’s sundress fabric into the quilt. It was like that dress was made for that quilt. My mom would then have a piece of one of her mom’s favorite things. I hoped that my mom felt love every time she wrapped herself in the quilt.

That was it and I was off to the measuring, cutting and sewing races! A couple of months later and my mom opened her long awaited gift on December 25th.

Since then, I have finished two blankets for two of nieces kids. I have finished a die-cutting design for my husband and installed it on a vintage truck door. I made a boxy tee with half-sleeves in one day. I’ve started another quilt for one of my grand nieces and I’m working on an embroidery project. The best thing is– I have my groove back and I love each and every thing.

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